Cassie In Bloom

But i do not love my knee :( 

I miss running. Biking is fun… but IT IS NOT THE SAME! It doesn’t heal me the way running does :(

My birthday is tomorrow. Project looooooove myself is going well, even though I’m stressed out about finals! I have 2 on Monday and then I’m done! 

I am going to turn 27 on Sunday. It’s time to give myself more credit, to love myself more and to appreciate my body for everything it can do, not what it looks like.

Excessive restriction is over.

Obsessive exercise when I think I overate is over

Binge eating is OVER.

Fat talk and self hatred OVER!

If I want a cookie, I’ll have a delicious, awesome cookie. Not the whole bag! I’ll still run marathons. I will not weigh myself… possibly ever again. It just gets me worked up.

Happy birthday, self! <3

I have GOT to stop falling when I run. It really hurts!

Good thing my bf the hot tub and I already have a date tomorrow :)

I read all the time about how people have to forget their last marathon before they’re ready to try again. That is not me. I’m ready now. I am sad I don’t have a race tomorrow. I’m sad I have to wait until October for my next marathon. 

Will I really make it that long? I’ve already had to slap my hand away from the register button for the Carmel, Indiana marathon in June. 

It’s an love affair obsession! Addiction! 

My first run back.

I swam laps yesterday… so I could get in the hot tub, lol. I wanted to swim laps today, too, but I forgot my darn swimsuit. Honestly, haha. But back to the run.

It was finally sunny! I met some new people to run with and they were super nice and I am looking forward to doing more runs with them in the future. 

I’m actually surprised at how good I feel, mentally and physically after the marathon. It was such a miserable day to run on Sunday, I can’t believe I’m already back looking forward to running. 

I love it!

i want to run a sub 4 hour marathon. i will attempt to reach this goal in the columbus marathon oct 16, 2011.

my plan off attack is to run 3 days a week. a long run @ 10 minute pace, and easy run day and a speedwork day.

to break up my training and for cross training, i will train for an olympic distance triathlon. my dad is into bike riding and i already swim laps 1-2x a week, so this is doable. theres one june 26, and all i need to do is start riding bikes.

i am also going to strength train more. i did somewhat after atlanta, but havent been as good about it lately. however, i noticed a huge difference. look at what i did to my pr’s this month…. blasted! 

smartcoach has me running a 3:50 if i follow their plan… im in!

i never did one of these for atlanta, i guess i was too disappointed in my time and worried about my knees. this race was different, so ill do a little recap for anyone interested :)

i was a little behind schedule in the beginning, i really wanted to go to the bathroom 1 more time before the start but they were too far away. the ground was horribly soggy and gross and there were no corrals, so i felt really anxious about having to weave all over the place to keep my pace. about 7 minutes after the official start, we finally got moving!

i hit my “cruise control” super early. it took no time at all for me to settle down and get in the groove. unfortunately, about a mile in, i managed to find some random piece of wire to get tangled up in and i bit it. full faceplant. i have road rash everywhere, my hands, hip, knees, and thigh.. it burns! i got right up and felt reasonably ok physically, but mentally, i was not good. i was cranky and pissy and i felt boxed in with too many people and i couldnt run the pace i wanted. i had to give myself a reality check. i knew i wouldnt be quitting, and i knew i was going to have to get my attitude right or suffer for 4+ hours. 

i successfully adjusted my attitude and cruised right along. i felt great! miles were just flying by and i was keeping a 9:30 pace without much effort. i was SO happy when the full split ffrom the half. i finally felt like i had enough space! i saw the best cheering section in the world right before mile 13 and it perked me up even more! and miles 13-19 went by like nothing! i have never had such effortless running, it was great! i never hit the wall, but i did start to count down at mile 19. i was ready to be done. it was cold and wet… my feet were wet, my roadrash burned and my legs started to feel tired. i told myself that my legs SHOULD feel tired and reminded myself of what a badass i am and pressed on. this was also the most beautiful area of the course. we were on a bike path in a park right by the lake. it was beautiful. at mile 21, i tried to convince myself that i was just out on my regular 5 mile route around the neighborhood. i wasnt convinced, lol.

at mile 22, i finally put my headphones on. i couldnt feel my fingers and i was horribly cold and the wind was blowingg straight into my face WITH FEELING. but theen came mile 23 where the dj was playing the rocky theme. OMG. best.thing.ever! i pumped my arms and ran with a big, goofy smile on my face and powered up the (small, esp compared to ATL) hill. i tried to energize everyone around my by reminding them that the marathon was only a 5k now, and we eat 5ks for breakfast! they seemed unconvinced. but i pushed on, despite burning quads.

at this point, the bad weather got worse. it went from misty rain to real rain, and it was puddle city. it felt like i was running on bricks, ick. also,  mile 25-26 was the longest mile on the planet, but i gave it everything i had! i sprinted! i actually had a little left in the tank! i saw my family and friends and i was so happy… i saw the clock and i knew i made my goal of 4:20 and i cried a little…. then i got my medal and cried a little more. i guess im going to be a little emotional at every race :)

i am so proud of myself and i had such a great time. i wish i had another race to run this weekend!

tell me why im already maniacly checking rw and active looking for summer marathonss, haha!

I ran my longest distance since my marathon yesterday. It was a beautiful day and the 14 miles were done in 2:21! That’s pretty good for me. Could have been even faster, but my poor buddy was having tummy troubles :( It happens to me a lot and I felt so bad for her! 

I failed at hydration though. I will not run without water anymore. And I will not leave for a significant distance without gatorade. I don’t like gu or cliff shots because they hurt my stomach, so I will have to have the gatorade as soon as I’m done. It always takes a near disaster before I take adequate care of myself which is stupid! I know better! I just get cocky!

Last week I also fell back in love with running. I wasn’t totally out of love, but I hadn’t had a run that I didn’t want to end for a long time. I ran 6.5 on Tuesday just because it was a beautiful day and when I got back to the gym, I was sad! I wanted more! It was a fabulous feeling.

I also hit my highest mileage week in a long time. 35 miles. I don’t usually have the time to run that much but I can’t stay inside in such great weather (finally).

Tomorrow I am tentatively planning to run 10 miles. I am not sure if it will happen because I have to work, but that’s the plan, man :)

I has it!

It’s been an intense week as far as workouts, so I can’t say I’m surprised….. Surprised, no…. Annoyed, pretty much!

Those who complete their  midweek training runs get ice cream..

Not that I have to bribe myself or anything LOL

I ran my marathon! It was the best experience of my life. I had so much fun and I feel so proud of myself! I got a small knee injury (tendonitis) and wasn’t able to finish in my goal time, so I signed up for my second marathon May 15! I have several plans for ensuring success:

1. Strength training - I have never been particularly good about this. I’m going to hopefully add 3-4 days a week of weights to strengthen my leg muscles. I know that neglecting this is a major reason why my knee got irritated on all the hills of Atlanta. 

2. Yoga once a week, for mind and body. It makes me feel so much better, inside and out! And it will help keep me stretched out and knot free!

3. Improve my diet. I saw a nutritionist yesterday who said A) Don’t lose more weight and B) Eat much more. And when she says much more, she means about 500 cal more per day than I was previously consuming and even more on long run days. And I need more protein and dairy as well as fat. She said my body needs it, especially for recovery. 

4. Run about the same amount as I did in training for my last one. I actually followed a pretty light training schedule, only 3 days a week, 25-30 miles and it worked. I have too much on my plate to run 4+ days a week and do speedwork. I think I’ll add a weekday tempo run, but still keep my running days down to 3.

So that’s very exciting! I’m happy to have a reasonably successful marathon on the books! 

Onward!!!

But manageable.

One more final (so what I’ve barely started studying? Life’s great!)

5 days til marathon.

Maybe I emotionally ate about 1500 cal last night after fighting about nothing with my bf, but today I was barely hungry and stuck to delicious and nutritious foods with no desire to binge.

Bf apologized and tries to get back on good side = relief. I hate disagreements. So stressful!

Bed early for early date with my CSE book. :)

Fighting with your boyfriend right before bed = not the business.

I hate you, finals. But I also love you. No more econ ever in my life? I’m alright with that :)

A week from today, I will be in Atlanta. I will be all full of some sort of delicious food and trying to calm down and go to sleep so I can wake up to RUN A MARATHON!

It’s been months and hundreds of miles of training. Running in 20 degree weather. Finding a buddy to keep me company from CraigsList. Being sore almost every day. Figuring out how to fit in 30 miles a week while in school full time, working part time… It’s almost here! I am SO ready for it!

I don’t know how long it will take me or how well trained I am, but it doesn’t matter. I know I’ll finish. 

And I’m going to wear my medal until it makes my neck hurt :)

My whole life, I’ve known I was a late bloomer. I just seem to figure things out a little more slowly than my peers and come out of my shell a little more reluctantly. It used to be upsetting and I wondered when I would get my confidence and the clarity everyone else seemed to have so easily. I somehow managed to keep my patience, though. I just somehow knew, deep down, that I’d get there eventually. 

Life is a journey, not a destination, though. I’m 26 now and I hope to have many more years to ride this ride! I do feel like I’m finally out of the haze, though. I came out into the sun and I feel like it shines on me a little brighter these days!

I’m back in school! I finally have a plan and it feels amazing. I work hard and it’s overwhelming sometimes, but it is extremely rewarding!

I have a hobby! I run, I’m training for a marathon! I really credit my new hobby with a lot of the clarity I’ve found. I feel so confident in my abilities in everything, and if it wasn’t for running, I really don’t know if I would have that confidence. 

I have a fabulous family and wonderful friends. They’re patient with me when I’m not always the best at keeping in touch or communicating and they are endlessly supportive! I love you all!

I am looking at this as a medium to keep track of my wonderful life and sort through thoughts to record all the things and people I love!